Several students handed in a re-write of the "Father" para. as well. Good for you.
We read Ernest Buckler's story, "Penny in the Dust" and talked about how this image might represent a father/son relationship. We speak more about it on Monday. Finally, we did a literary must-haves quiz and the entire class scored 100%. It was a miracle! And we witnessed it, together.
Homework:
Finish reading the story and post-it note all the examples you can find of how this father and dad really do love each other.
Finish correcting "The Father" para. Make all of the corrections on the handout. A copy of the handout is pasted below. Submit the paragraph and the correction sheet, Monday. You do not need to re-write the paragraph unless you want a higher mark. The important aspect of this exercise is to make sure that you understand where you need to improve and to be able to point out the strengths in your writing.
Paragraph Correction Response Sheet
Title of Assignment: ___________________________ Date: ________________________________
Mark I was expecting: __________________________
Mark I received: __________________________
The definition of insanity is expecting change to result from making the same mistakes.
CHOOSE YOUR TOP THREE PRIORITIES
In order to improve for next time, I want to learn how to:
1. ______________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. ______________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The literary must-haves that I forgot to include were
1. _____ present tense for all verbs, I used contractions,
2. _____ sentence variety (using short/long/medium sentences, varying the type and varying how the sentence begins)
3. _____ using synonyms for words that repeat a lot in the paragraph
4. _____ using pronouns such as this is or this means or it shows etc.
5. _____ forgetting the page number or not citing correctly
6. _____ forgetting that quotes can’t float so needing to integrate quotations
7. _____ forgetting to check for wordiness or slang
8. _____ forgetting the 13 steps (especially elaboration and transitions)
9. _____ sufficient evidence to prove my thesis
10. _____ insightful responses to the evidence I had gathered (or too-obvious observations)
