Thesis: Check that the thesis offers your opinion about the theme of the story.
Incorrect: In the story, "The Lamp At Noon", by Sinclair Ross, the author makes comments about pride.
Correct: In the story, "The Lamp At Noon", by Sinclair Ross, pride destroys families by distorting the reality of the hardships of farming into a hopeless and unattainable dream.
To prove this thesis you need at least three strong quotations or events from the story.
Find your top three (Check your TICK charts). You need a what? / so what? chart for the Title, the Introduction, the Conclusion, and 3 Key Points.
Make sure you have strong opinions about how each quotation proves your thesis.
For example: (An example can be a quotation or an event in your own words, which is called a paraphrase).
Paraphrase:
The scene in the barn when Paul realizes that Ellen needs to be more connected to the land and have her own dream of the future.
Your opinion could be:
Paul wants Ellen to share his dreams. However, his pride prevents him from seeing that Ellen has her own needs. He is so full of pride that even though he realizes that she sees the truth: " ' Desert, you fool--the lamp lit at noon!'" (117), he cannot admit that she may be correct because he would feel as if he had failed.
Follow our structure:
Thesis
First Point
First Example
First Explanation (Say how this example proves your thesis)
Transition
Second Point
Second Example
Second Explanation
Transition
Third Point
Third Example
Third Explanation
Conclude (Make your ending emotional. Be sure to repeat your thesis in a convincing manner. You do not need to say, In conclusion . . . and you do not need to repeat the author's name nor the title).
HOMEWORK:
Now that you have edited for all the literary must-haves, you have added page numbers, you are citing correctly, all your verbs are in the present tense, you are ready to focus on STYLE.
Use a thesaurus.
Use our vocabulary list.
Use our verb list: portrays, examines, depicts, illustrates, elucidates, exemplifies, reveals, suggests etc
Vary your sentence beginnings.
Use semi-colons and colons for effect.
Make sure you try to use #3 on our How to integrate quotations page.
Once you have edited for style.
The final edit reflects your insight.
Are you going beyond the obvious?
Are you adding your opinions to the story?
What have you figured out?
I look forward to reading your good copies.
Staple the good copy on top of the draft.
Bring both copies to class tomorrow.
